Breath No More
by Little-Firestar84
Summary: He told her he was always going to save her,but his magic is an illusion, and his mind games can't heal her dying body. he can just stay at her side, helping her to experince life to the fullest, without having regrets. prompt: misdiagnosed Lisbon Jisbon
1. Chapter 1

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

Based on a prompt on Jelloforever...

* * *

She remembers when he told her she'd be the one he'd call, wash e dying. She remembers that day and the exact words he used clearly, even if, when it comes to Jane, there's that much she doesn't remember about him (both for future reference or for that hideous tee crush come when she isn't a teen any longer).

But it is different when she thinks about those words, because, as soon as he said that, she thought it was the same for her: not her brothers, her family, Minelli or Cho or Sam. No, the only name she can thinks about in those kind of situations is Patrick Jane, the same Jane who is now occupying her thoughts, while she cries all her tears- his voice, low and sensual, his eyes, blue and sparkly, his ruffled curly blonde hair, his smile, contagious and always a bit flirty, and even his 3 pieces suites.

She is seriously considering calling him, since it's kind of what they promised that day to each other, but, as she hears the front door opening, she realizes she will not need to: _typical Jane, _she thinks, a small smile crossing her features, because, even if the man likes to think of himself of a free spirit, he is predictable, especially to her. God, there are times she even already knows what he'll say before he could actually open his mouth.

So, yes, she isn't surprised, she was, actually, expecting him, because she knows he is a good man who cares deeply about her (at which level, she isn't sure yet), and, with Jane being Jane, between her check-up (which he was aware of), her not showing up at work after her appointment and not answering her phone, since they weren't having any problems concerning the job, he simply knew she was at home- and he never had problems picking her lock up, and this time, it hasn't been any different. She knows, she knew, and, frankly, she doesn't care any longer, she no longer has the strength to fight him, this, to keep up the appearances, the façade, she is sick and tired, she can't take it any longer, and so, 25 years of regrets and tension and roads not taken make her walls collapse, all of this and one person alone, one man, Jane.

Jane, who finds her, sitting in the dark, on the floor of her bedroom, curled up, crying. Jane, who takes her in his arms without saying a word, just allowing Lisbon to cry in his shirt, Jane, who is kissing and caressing her hair while she holds onto him like for dear life. Jane, who had promised to save her, but can't do it now, not with this… because his magic is false, and even his mentalist abilities can't heal her dying body.

"What's wrong, Teresa, talk to me, please…" it's been two hours since he has come in, and she is still in silence, hugged to him, and while her desperate cries and sobs are gone, hot tears are still running wild on her delicate features.

It has taken him two hours to decide that he HAS to make the first move; he knows she wants to talk, but he feels she can't find the strength to, so, even if he isn't going to push the issues, he'll try to meet her halfway.

She doesn't know if the uses, so rare on his lips, of her given name, his tone, his words, his mere presence, the way he is cuddling her in his lap, but she just collapses in tears again, burying her face in the crock of his neck, her fists stroking the fabric of his shirt, she just knows that, minutes later, when she stops to cry, it's not because he is caressing her back and pushing her closer and closer to him, it's because she hears him sobs, and because she feels his hot and salty tears mixed with her owns.

_He understood _she thinks, and her assumption is proven right when he stops to cry just to ask her a question, not the first one a normal person would ask, but the first one that Jane would ask to anyone, her included.

"How long?" He simply asks, not going any further, unable to look into her marvelous green eyes.

"6 months, given or taken, doc said that if I start chemo right now I could gain a couple more of months, but he is pretty sure it will be pointless, because at that point I'll be more dead than alive, it would mean just torture me further, making the agony last longer" she pauses, and finally meets his gaze, a nervous laugh escaping her lips "I'm dying of a brain tumor, and the only reason I found out was because I couldn't get rid of the headache since last time I caught a flu…"

"Teresa, may I ask you what are you going to do now?"

"You just asked, you moron" she laughs again nervously, thinking about the fact that Jane probably did it on purpose, hoping that she could smile a little. "Well, to answer your question… I know it's selfish, but I lived my whole life with regrets, and I don't want to. If I died today, I would. The fact is, I always told myself "later" or "next time", and there are so many opportunities I missed, things that I didn't do… but my later is already here, and id don't want to die being just Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon, from now on, every day is a precious gift I want to enjoy, living my life to the full."

"You'd prefer avoiding telling Hightower this, you are considering the idea of taking few days, with excuse that one of your brothers has been in an incident, and it's in the hospital, and things aren't as good as the doctors first thought. That will buy you time, so that you could decided what to say. Of course, you'd prefer not saying anything at all, because you hate pity and compassion, and you knew that the team will ask to be at your side till the end, and you don't want them to see and remember you weak and fragile, you want them to remember you as the fearless and strong leader…"

"You know me so well" she whispers in his chest with a broken smile. She can feel something is up with Jane, that he is suffering, and she knows of the responsibility now he carries, because she is asking him to keep it secret, to witness her end. She doesn't need to use words to ask him to stay at her side, though, because he is Jane, and no matter what, he'll stay at her side.

"I… Teresa, I have to go, there are things… that I'm supposed to care of…" she gently removes the tears from his face with both hands, smiling at him, a true smile.

"It's ok, Jane, I understand, you don't have to stay"

"No, I, I would stay, but I really have to go… but, but I'll be back as soon as possible…."

"Then, I'll be here, Patrick, waiting for you."


	2. Chapter 2

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

Based on a prompt on Jelloforever... short, I know, but, hey... couldn't wait till tomorrow!

* * *

He is sitting on the mattress under the bloody smiley, like often, but this time his thoughts aren't directed to Red John, for once. He is thinking about Angela and Charlotte, of course, but not only, because his mind is filled with images of Teresa Lisbon.

Among the team, she is the one he cares the most about, the only one he could restrain himself for, she is the one he confesses his past to, she is the one he wanted and wants to feel smiling, the one he'd call was he dying, the one he promised to save, the one he decided he was always going to be there for.

He doesn't know if she is aware of it, but she has healed him, fixing his souls as much as possible, making her smile has become his sole priority, like helping her into catch as many bad guys as possible, Red John included, because it's in her hands, in the team's hands, that vengeance now is, and he has realized it the day he understood that the horrific visions of his family lost to him forever weren't his first and last thought and his recurrent dream, because _she _had became the last and first thought and his recurrent dream, turning into a sort of sleeping pills.

He loves Teresa Lisbon, he knows it and has known from a while, and even before to acknowledge this reality, he knew she was in love with him, but, with Lisbon being Lisbon, she had decided to don't act on her feelings (because of Red John, because they are friends, because they work together, because he is Jane, because he still wears his wedding ring, because of the rules, because it wouldn't be right for Grace and Wayne, because of Hightower).

He thought they were going to have time, he had promised himself that, once dealt in her way with Red John, he'd told her of his feelings, because he wanted to belong to her and he wanted Lisbon to belong to him and him only.

But time is up, and she is dying and he is selfish and masochist, but she is right, a life of regrets isn't a life, and, besides, there's the fact that he had promised to make her happy, a long time ago.

He isn't going to say his final goodbyes, to paint the wall or sell the house, that's what he'll do once Red John will be no more, but, for now, he has decided to stop worrying about it; when he'll no longer have the love of the woman who stole his heart, he'll concentrate again on murders and sociopaths, now his priority is Teresa.

He removes the wedding band, letting it rest on the mattress, because, even it will not last long, while they'll be together she deserves to be the only one.


	3. Chapter 3

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

Based on a prompt on Jelloforever... short, I know, but, hey... couldn't wait till tomorrow!

* * *

"Have you called Hightower yet? Because, if you haven't, you definitely should" as she opens the door to Jane few hours later, he doesn't even say hello or greets her, he simply runs upstairs in her bedroom without even sending a glance to Lisbon "no, I think you should get ready first!"

"Get ready for what?" she shouts after him, panicking as she joins him in the bedroom, where she remain speechless seeing her suitcases and beauty case on the bed, drawers open and empty, and Jane packing her things "Why are you packing my clothes?"

"Because we are leaving, what kind of question is this, woman?" he answers with nonchalance as he tosses her lingerie sets, matching bra and panties in silk and lace, and only those ones, in one suitcase (something that doesn't go unnoticed to Lisbon).

"And, where do you think you are bringing me?" she asks him at crossed arms, trying to stay calm.

"We are going to Europe, my dear. I was thinking one week or 10 days in Paris, you always wanted to be there, right? And, of course, there's the Greece…"

"You are bringing me to Paris, and then in Greece."

"Last time I was here, I noticed a whole bookshelf dedicated to Greece, from history to mythology to traditions. Besides, all your favorite movies are connected to Greece: "Mama Mia", "my big, fat, Greek wedding" and "My life in ruins"…" he pauses, just to turns again to Lisbon, eyes shining "it happens that on old client of me owns a villa in Zante…"

"Zante"

"Yeah, Zante or Zakynthos is the native country to the poet Foscolo, and where, according to the legends, Venus was born."

"Jane, the Greek goddess of love was Aphrodite, Venus was her Latin equivalent, and she wasn't actually born there, she just came to life from the foam of the sea"

He rolls his eyes, almost laughing, but still a bit annoyed, because he is usually the one with the mind that is a storage unit for useless pieces of information. "Anyway, we're going to stay there, on a villa by the sea, and we can stay there as long as we like, but, first…" he stops to do whatever he was doing, and reaches her with fear in his blue-green eyes, and gets on one knee – I thought we could have time _later_, but we don't, and I don't want to have regrets, I don't care how long we'll have, one month, six or an year, all I want is being at your side, calling you my wife, I want to feel you smile while we kiss, I want to make love to you and fall asleep in each other's arms after, I want to have you in my arms when I wake up in the morning, and I know that you want this as well. I know it because you love me just as much as I love you. So, Teresa, will you make me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?"

She kneels in front on Jane, cupping his face with her hands, and staring into his eyes, she sees a reflection of her own feelings. Jane really loves her, he really wants to spend the rest of their lives with her, and she knows it's selfish to ask him to survive not one but two wives, but it's not like he doesn't know what will happen in few months time, and he is willingly embracing it, because he loves her.

"Yes"


	4. Chapter 4

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

Based on a prompt on Jelloforever... short, I know, but, hey... couldn't wait till tomorrow!

* * *

Something like two months later, they are in Zante, having their honeymoon. Teresa isn't going to lie, she has fantasized, about being Patrick Jane's wife, but never, ever, not even in her strangest dream, had she considered the idea of marrying him in Las Vegas, in small chapel inside a casino. A normal guy married them, though, and Jane was wearing a tux and she was in a wedding gown, white, long to her feet and sleeveless, and with a veil as well. And she had followed tradition as well: she had something new (the engagement ring in white gold with emeralds), something old (the white gold and emerald set Jane had rough her years prior, and apparently kept, foreseeing this moment), something blue (the stones on the slip that kept her veil steady) and something borrowed (the anklet from the girl who had been witness with her fiancée). At the time, she hadn't cared that no one they knew was around, the only thing that mattered was Jane, Patrick, she corrects herself, and her.

She had done her best to convince her husband to skip Paris and going directly to Greece, claiming that there was no reason being there since they weren't going to leave their room, but Patrick has answered her that he had picked the hotel suite with the most beautiful sight of the city, ("From the bed, my dear"), and, as always, he had proved himself right.

"I've checked my email. Grace said your doctor keeps calling, and that you should call him back as soon as possible."

"His colleague said enough already" she whispers throwing the book on the pavement, and turning towards her husband, who's now at her side in bed, as good and marvelous as always. The last few weeks have been hell, especially the last couple of days-she has been sick first, and now there isn't a part of her body that doesn't hurt(the headache is terrible, and the back and the feet…), she has never been so tired before, and she always feel dizzy. "Wait a sec, how does she know we are together?"

"Meh… I disappear, you disappear, and they connected the dots. Besides, Grace is a romantic, and always knew something was going to happen between the two of us" he pauses, and takes her in his arms, breathing in her scent, cinnamon and lemon and musk and Teresa. "You should call him. He has been asking of you for days"

"Later" she murmurs in his chest, the grip on him never so strong, content but yet sad.

"C'mon, it's eighth in the morning back home; he'll already be at the office…"

"But, Patrick…"

"Teresa, please" she knows those eyes, and she knows how much he is already suffering right now, so, she simply gives up and turns on the mobile that has been since their romantic escape, and immediately after seeing the immense number of missed calls from Bobby Goren, friend and doctor, of the last week, calls him.

"Teresa, is that you? Where the hell have you been? And what kind of prefix is that? Where the hell are you?" he shouts at her, not even giving her the chance to talk. So much for her best friend…

"Actually, I'm in Greece" she answers matter of fact.

"In Greece… what the hell are you doing in Greece? I called the CBI and they said you had left without saying what was going on!"

"Actually, I'm in my honeymoon"

"Honeymoon… why the hell did you got married, and whom did you marry?"

"I got married to Patrick Jane in Vegas, because we've decided that we wanted to spend what was left of my life together as husband and wife"

"Teresa, I think you should come back home"

"I'm not going to come back just for dying, Bobby"

"Teresa, I'd prefer to talk to you, you know, have an "eyes in the eyes" conversation…but… it's not like you are giving me any choice…"

She almost cries when she understands where he is probably going, sitting on the bed at Patrick's side, who keeps rubbing her back with affection. "Bobby, just tell me how long I have left"

"Teresa, from what I understand, you never looked for a second opinion…"

"Bobby, Farrell looked at the exams, and said what was going on. I was too shocked to run around the world for a second opinion, and you were the one telling me he was the best"

"He is under investigation"

"Why would Farrell be under investigation? Bobby, I don't understand…"

"Six patients in the last months reported of being misdiagnosed. The court ordered to a group of doctors to check everyone again"

"There's a chance… Bobby, are you really telling me that there's a chance that…" she fights back the tears, not wanting to really acknowledge this opportunity.

"Teresa, they checked the exams you did, and…." He pauses, uncomfortable "the dark spots weren't cancer, Teresa, but… it is sinusitis"

"Bobby, could you… repeat it?"

"Teresa, you are not dying. You are an healthy woman who, according to her current condition, still has a long life ahead of her" Eyes wide open, she turns off the device before any of them could go any further, and, feared, Jane keeps looking at her.

"Teresa, what's wrong? You have to talk to me. Please…"

"He said the doctor was wrong. He said… he said the doctor misdiagnosed me…. It's not cancer… it's just… a damn sinusitis… I'm not dying…" as she says so, she collapses into tears again, against his chest, like that day two months before…


	5. Chapter 5

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

* * *

It takes Teresa a good half an hour to regain her composure, but, finally, she ménages to calm herself enough to understand what Bobby told her, what he meant. The sudden revelation makes her feel better, that's sure, but then, it takes her, hard, and sadness takes over.

All the motives she has always struggled to maintain her relationship with Jane on a flirt and work level strike her: she has never made a move on him because they are friends, because they work together, because of Red John, because of the rules, because of Hightower, because of Wayne and Grace, because he is Jane, because he still wore his wedding band and hadn't moved past that night. Of course, two months prior he had removed his first wedding ring to replace it with the one she game him, but Teresa can't help but think that he did it only because he thought it was temporary and she was going to die soon… at the end of the day, she isn't sure that they got married out of love, at the end, what she thinks, what she is scared of, is that he married her out of pity, to make her remaining months worth living for, unforgettable, to give her something more than work and a family that can't understand what she did for them and can't help but remember her of bad times and failures.

She removes herself from Jane's embrace, and moves to stand still in front of the window, and looking at the waves, she ménages to stop the sobs, but not the hot and salty tears. "I'm sure you'll not have any problem at getting an annulment" she whispers, wiping away the tears with the back of her hand.

When she feels Jane's strong and callous hands on her shoulders, she turns, freezing, getting scared: his blue eyes are screaming a song of anger, anger she knows is all for her, but she can't help but wonder why. Is he mad at her because she is going to live and they got married, does he feels trapped, tricked into a wedding he never wanted in the first place, or is he mad because he had married her out of love and can't stand her thinking the opposite?

"I'm not going to ask for a divorce or an annulment, and don't believe that I'll allow you to walk away from _us_ without fighting!"

"Jane, I…" she begs between tears.

"No, we're not Jane and Lisbon, not any longer. We are Patrick and Teresa, we are in love, we got married because we love each other" he pauses, and when he starts again to talk, he is almost screaming, a scream of desperation, a plea for her to listen to him, to hear him out " I married you because I've always knew that you were destined to be part of my life, because I've always wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, because I'm selfish and I didn't care how short lived our marriage could be, I just wanted to go out and say "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Teresa, my wife", and the only reason I'm mad at you and I'm screaming is because you dare to think that I married you out of pity and not love, and because you don't understand how grateful I am that we still have time! I'm mad because you don't understand how much I love you, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, that I want to be the father of your children, because you don't understand I don't give a damn about Hightower and her stupid rules or about Red John, I'll hypnotize her, I'll resign, and he'll be all yours to handle, but there's no way I'm going to give up on us!"

As he finally stops to scream, he shifts his weight from foot to foot, avoiding eye contact with Teresa. He is so cute this uncomfortable and scared after his declaration of love, that she doesn't know if she is supposed to laugh or cry. At the end, she simply decides to give him a peck on the lips, a quick kiss, while smiling, and in that moment she decides there's not a single thing cuter than Patrick lifting his eyes to look quizzically at her in complete silence.

"Patrick, let's get married"

"Teresa, in case you forgot… I think we kind of already got married…"

"Yes, but" she tells him grinning maliciously, her fingers drawing invisible patterns over his chest. "I'd like to plan a real wedding, with everybody we know and care about and who cares for us. Of course, we'll have to wait for a while, to give everybody time to… adjust to this new development, let's say."

"Everybody, also known as Grace Van Pelt and Wayne Rigsby, I suppose."

"Yes, I'm talking about Rigsby and Grace, oh great husband of mine with mentalisitic abilities" she rolls her eyes, but suddenly laughs, just to turns half-serious in a sec, but still smiling "I know it will hard, but I've always dreamt of an "us", and now that I have it, I don't want to give it up. I was… I was just scared that you would, though."

"I think my love declaration said volumes about how I feel for you, so I suppose there's no need for me to specify it…"

"Well, too bad I want you to, Mister Jane"

"In that case, Teresa Lisbon, if that's what you wish, I'll marry you, and this time, properly"

"I remember someone saying I was a Jane now… you know, it has a certain sound… Teresa Jane isn't that bad, you know?"

"Yeah, but, when someone at the office will scream "JANE!" we will not know who they are screaming about!" he mocks her, nuzzling her neck with affection and devotion.

"Well, first, it's usually me doing the Jane screaming thing, DO NOT BE A PIG ABOUT IT. Second, I doubt that the job will be still there for me once we'll be back"

"SCU doesn't exist without you; you are like the team's mother, they'd miss a limb!"

"In case you haven't noticed, you may be gold for the department, but I'm quite replaceable. Besides, how do you think she'll react when Hightower will found out we are involved with each other, that I married you just to escape to Greece to tan instead of being at my brother's side in his last days as I told her?"

"Meh, she'll come around, after all, as Bobby and a team of doctors will state, you thought you were dying, and there's the little fact that she has a soft spot for me and kids."

"Kids…" she says stunned in a robot-like tone.

"Yes, you'll eventually have to ask her for maternity leave, honey."

"Maternity leaves…"

"Yes, of course, Teresa dear. I'd like to remember you that we've never been to careful, we never bothered ourselves with protection, since you were dying and we were always… caught in heat of the moment, let's say."

"We didn't bother"

"Yes, and, considering that you started feeling sick three weeks after we got married, and that you are healthy, I think you could be more than one month along. He smiles, grinning proud, satisfied with himself, just like when his stunts work and they catch the bad guy.

"So, you think I may be pregnant" she says with the same expression.

"Teresa, dear, I'm not saying it, I'm stating it."

"Well, for the world's sake, let's just hope this baby will be more Lisbon than Jane, otherwise…" She smiles, just like he does, and taking him for the collar of his shirt drags him down for a mind-blowing, Earth shattering kiss, and she can't help but think about all the years they have ahead of them….

Somehow, she thinks that making this voyage with Patrick Jane will be terribly funny.


End file.
